


Even on the darkest night I will be your sword, your shield, your camouflage

by Valkrist (Anouk_Tyrell)



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: At least sometimes kind of I would say, Denial of Feelings, Feelings, Hurt/Comfort, I mean it is a songfic if I include lyrics isn‘t it?, Kissing, Love, M/M, Season/Series 05, Songfic, just two lovely confused guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:08:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25126783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anouk_Tyrell/pseuds/Valkrist
Summary: “Hello, Barney.“ - “Sergeant Major? You’re alive?“Barney hadn’t expected him to come. Had lost track of time long ago. All days were the same, just sitting there. The people, the meds, the three dirty walls and the bars of the asylum, they were all the same, every fucking day.And suddenly the light went on and he was there. Thomas … Tom … Tommy. First he thought he was only a figment. He couldn’t possibly be here, right in front of him, could he? But there was, looking so perfectly polished, being even more authoritative than before. How many years had passed? To what did he owe this pleasure?
Relationships: Tommy Shelby/Barney Thompson
Comments: 6
Kudos: 6





	Even on the darkest night I will be your sword, your shield, your camouflage

**Author's Note:**

  * For [strawberriez8800](https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberriez8800/gifts).



> Thank you for encouraging me the whole time and kinda approving this relationship haha <3 talking to you helps a lot, you know (you‘re amazing!)
> 
> This fic was also inspired by “Meet Me on the Battlefield" by SVRCINA, so it turned out to be a kind of songfic in the end, haha (so big thank you to all the musicians out there who inspire me every day)
> 
> What else ... yeah, I simply decided to introduce this shipping to the fandom. Got inspired by a tweet: https://twitter.com/peakybastard/status/1177669046675890177  
> And then my mind was like wow there is something about it  
> And then I wrote this thing here  
> So yeah, have fun with my thoughts <3
> 
> (PS: I‘m kinda too lazy to reread it rn so if there are still some mistakes or my automatic error correction even added some ... I‘m sorry, I‘ll proofread it later!)  
> (another PS: still don't know if this is explicit or mature but yeah rather safe than sorry yeah?)

_No time for rest_

_No pillow for my head_

_Nowhere to run from this_

_No way to forget_

France had changed their lives.

Guns and gore. Shovels and tunnels. Dirt and dead bodies. The smell of rotten bones. It had been dark times, only lit by torches and fires. Times that had changes them all - forever. It was a miracle that they were still alive, at least some of them. Tommy could still remember it, the nightmares didn’t go away. Choke-hold, suffocating, being saved. The shell shock was their terrible souvenir, together with the memories. But they had had something worth fighting for, something to go back to. Had bravely fought together, become brothers.

Arthur, Danny, John, Freddie, Jeremiah, Barney - they had fought for their country. Done everything possible to survive, to bring it all to an end. In the end they maybe were rather dead than alive, but they sticked together. Didn’t forget about what they had done for each other even so many years after the war.

Some of them ended up being politicians whereas others lost track of time sitting in the asylum. Some of them were able to take matters into their hands whereas others had to deal with straitjackets. How ironic…

Tommy could still remember the first time he had seen Barney. Back then he hadn’t known that he was standing in front of the _best fucking sniper_ he would have the honor of meeting. He probably also had been one of this young men with dreams, still hoping that everything would be alright in the end. He had been a beautiful man, talented and always up for making other people smile. He probably didn’t even know it, did it all unconsciously, but he was like a sunshine in this dark times.

That was why it was even more shocking that he was the one to end up in the asylum. Once he had managed to put a smile on his lips and now he was separated, locked-in with his thoughts, the demons of the war, and without real rest. The medical treatment was horrible, but at least it seemed to make this horrible kind of restlessness kind of bearable.

Tommy had seen how people like Barney were treated. How they had to live - could he even call it a life? Vegetating was probably the better word to describe the situation. To show what has yet to be done. He would definitely raise this question in the house.

_Around the shadows creep_

_Like friends, they cover me_

_Just wanna lay me down and finally_

_Try to get some sleep_

“Hello, Barney.“ - “Sergeant Major? You’re alive?“

Barney hadn’t expected him to come. Had lost track of time long ago. All days were the same, just sitting there. The people, the meds, the three dirty walls and the bars of the asylum, they were all the same, every fucking day.

And suddenly the light went on and he was there. Thomas … Tom … Tommy. First he thought he was only a figment. He couldn’t possibly be here, right in front of him, could he? But there was, looking so perfectly polished, being even more authoritative than before. How many years had passed? To what did he owe this pleasure?

“Thems who’re gone are the lucky ones.“

They were, without a doubt. Didn’t have to carry all the bad memories with them, all the guilt. They didn’t have to wonder how their future would look like, if they would even have one. They were free, didn’t have to carry this weight around. Lucky people, very lucky people…

“Thanks for the letters you send, Sergeant Major.“ - “Yeah, Arthur mostly writes them. I just… just sign them.“

Tommy smiled, a little bit embarrassed. He should have been the one taking care of Barney, instead he had hidden behind his paperwork and all the other things that needed to be done. There was no balance, it was an impossible state. Saving his business and family and therefore sacrificing relationships, it was a fair deal. Not a pleasant one, but at least somehow fair - as fair as it could be in such a world.

“How the fuck do you write back? With your fucking teeth?“ - “No, they stick a pen up me arse.“

Barney chuckled. Laughing with Tommy had always been such a relief and it still was. Ten years, Tommy had said? Ten years and he could still see the laughter lines under his eyes. Ten years and there was still a smile on this on the full lips, after all that had happened. Ten years and it still didn’t feel like meeting a stranger.

“They said out there you are a politician now.“ - “Sometimes, yeah.“

He hadn’t known if it was real. There always were plenty of rumors, no chance to find out which ones were true. Of course he had believed in Tommy, always known that he was capable of much more than only digging tunnels, but it was still impressive. A politician, someone who could really change things. Someone people listened to. Someone who was powerful and accepted, not the scum of society.

“Hey, Barney. Look at me.“

Barney wanted to brush away the hair from Tommy’s forehead. Somehow it looked too inviting, too soft, like something that would feel good on his fingertips. Damn, he had missed this man. Every time he had wanted to fall asleep but couldn’t. Every time he needed a hug. Every time he wanted to know what to do.

“I know. I know. You still remember that French waitress.“

Barney sobbed. The French waitress. Of course, how could he ever forget that one? A beautiful woman. Adeline? Louise? She had had a beautiful name, even if he wasn’t sure how it was anymore. Tommy had said that Barney had looked happy afterwards, confident, even pleased. Had given him a wink, knowing what had happened the second Barney entered the room.

“You still going on about that, Tom?“ - “Yeah.“

He would always rag him, never let him forget about this accident, but he meant no harm. It was like one of this jokes about the good old times, simply remembering what had happened and storing funny memories in the heart. Memories they could break up to keep themselves busy.

“Did you fuck her before me? Because whoever fit gave me the fucking clap, and I’m guessing it was you.“ - “Yes, I fucked her before you did.“

He had nearly forgotten about that part. A beautiful woman with a beautiful secret. Tommy wasn’t even angry because the sex must have been that good, but the pain must have been horrible. The fucking clap, goddammit. They were all fucked up, so fucked up.

“She was beautiful.“ - “And I reckon I was second best after Barney.“

It was a compliment, wasn’t it? One of those between friends, showing respect and acknowledging an achievement. It was too bad that Tommy didn’t know the whole truth. That he probably still thought that Barney was more into women, regarding the rest as experiments. That he most likely was certain that all the ordinary words and touches meant nothing to Barney. That they were both fucking confused, lost in their thoughts, not finding a way out.

“Why did you bring the capsule, Tom?“ Opium and cyanide, Tommy had whispered. A deadly combination, a heart attack and it would all be over. An easy way out, something all the people in the asylum would have asked for. Well, everybody expect Barney.

“Things might change.“ Change? What a lovely word. It sounded so thrilling, so exciting. Like an adventure he would never forget, like a glowing future. A future for someone like him? You must be crazy. Whatever Tommy had planned, it was insane. Insane, simply insane.

“Come here, Barney.“ They were so close. If Tommy would have leaned forward, they could have probably even kissed, not giving a fuck about the bars. How would Tommy have reacted? Kissed him back, pushed him away, left? Would he have been tender or stabbed him to death?

“Why would you break me out?“ He had the right to ask such questions. As lovely as Tommy was, he wouldn’t do it for no reason. He had kind of ignored or forgotten him for so many years, and now he visited him personally. There was a twist, as much as it hurt to admit it.

“See, the trouble with the people in here is the fucking meds they keep you on.“ Barney didn’t even know all the names. The stuff was fucking awful, but apparently it kept him alive. It made him calm down or something like that, tamed him. If they only knew that Tommy achieved the same effect, even in a better and healthier way.

“I have a job for you.“ - “Fuck.“

A job? What did he have that Tommy could need? What could he give him, being set at liberty? They all called him an animal, a danger, a nutter. His glorious times had already passed, he was nothing more than a man in a straitjacket, knowing neither time nor company.

„Barney, you were the best fucking sniper in our company. Never missed. I can use that man.“

Fuck, he still believed in him. Tommy, an admirable man, still believed in him. Thought that he was capable of shooting someone. He promised him _the latest BSA, fucking telescopic sights_. Something he would never have in his hand again, he couldn’t blow his chance. He couldn’t disappoint Tommy.

“What do you say, Barney?“ There was no way that he would refuse this offer. Of course he would help an old friend, escape his monotonous life. He nodded, still trembling. He would have given his right arm to have Tommy closer to him, to feel his arms wrapped around him, comforting him. He still had to come to terms with the plan, actually understand what was happening and how his live had changed in a fraction of a second.

“I’ll come for you.“ Tommy winked at him. The small gesture made something inside of Barney melt. It would have been lovely to see something like this every day, to know that this moments belonged to them, only them. A wink here, a tender touch there, softly whispered words in the morning and kisses in the evening. He had thought about it a lot after everything had gone wrong, but then he had started suppressing the feelings. After all this years it had seemed to be a fantasy that would never come true. It probably never would despite the new set of circumstances, but now it didn’t break him anymore. At least not in a way it had before.

“There’ll be a big fucking bang.“ He banged his head against the bars in anticipation. He would only have to survive some more days and then he would come for him. His life would change, he would put his skills to a good use. It would be a wonderful spectacle. _A big fucking bang, a big fucking bang_.

_We carry on through the storm_

_Tired soldiers in this war_

_Remember what we're fighting for_

Tommy had been right. He had been fucking right.

In the first seconds Barney wasn’t quite sure what was happening, but suddenly it all fell into place. The explosion was unmistakable. The ceiling crumbled. He heard the other men shouting.

Tommy had promised it and came for him. He wouldn’t need the straitjacket anymore, he would live and shoot and simply not be lonely anymore. In contrast to the meds, this thoughts made him feel good. Useful. _Alive_.

“It’s fucking Wednesday!“ He burst with laughter, feeling the adrenaline moving through his veins. It had been a good decision to decline the capsule. Opium, cyanide, he didn’t need it all knowing what was waiting for him outside this walls. His destiny. Something he was good at. The real life, not what he was going on within this four walls.

“Big bang on Wednesday!“

_Meet me on the battlefield_

_Even on the darkest night_

_I will be your sword, your shield, your camouflage_

_And you will be mine_

It was already late in the evening when they were sitting at the Garrison.

Tommy didn’t bother to explain how exactly he had done it, but Barney was sure that it had something to with his past and all the explosives he had placed back then.

There were dark clouds outside, the rain pounded against the window. Apparently all the people were sitting at home, in their more or less cozy rooms, trying to keep the bleakness at bay. They probably had lit a fire upstairs, talked, hugged.

“Nice to have you back again“, Tommy said, putting a cigarette between his lips and lighting it. Barney settled for a glass of whisky instead, slowly taking a sip, one by one. Sitting there without other people around them felt strange, but he kind of got used to it. The occasional silence wasn’t that bad when he could still listen to Tommy’s breaths and look him in the face. Barney had grown fond of this blue eyes, especially when they were beaming with joy. This moments when he could see this shining eyes and corners of his mouth going up were priceless.

Sometimes it was hard to listen to Tommy’s words. To understand what exactly he was saying and what it meant, not only listening to his voice. Even after all this years it was still soothing, reassuring, calm. Was this the way he was talking to other people as a politician or did he have to scream, not being able to show any other emotions? Barney didn’t know it, but maybe it didn’t even matter.

He felt Tommy’s fingers carefully wrapped around his own hand, holding it. Holding _him._ Reassuring _him_. How was it possible that one simple touch had such a huge impact on him? Was he touch-starved? Simply not used to his hands being free, not kept in place by the straitjacket? Did he simply miss the times when people hadn’t called him insane? It was easier to forget about this question before finding the answer.

But Tommy … Tommy was a lucky man, prosperous and somehow noble. Didn’t have to wear the dirty clothes in the tunnels anymore and had this tailored waistcoats and coats and trousers instead. Probably shaved every day to look that neat. His hair was hidden under his tweed cap, but when he took it off Barney could see it in all its glory. For a second he thought about slowly caressing the soft, brown curls, but in the end he managed to resist doing so.

“You can do this, eh?“ Tommy leaned over the table, waiting for an answer. Goddammit, he believed in him. One shot and it would be over. He would wait for the sign and then he would do it. Barney nodded and smiled.

He felt Tommy’s hand cupping his face, the fingertips running over his stubble. He still would have to take care of it, but it could wait. Barney leaned into the touch, closed his eyes for a second. It was so terribly easy to play pretend, forget about the worries and simply imagine beautiful things. To imagine that there was more between them than there actually was. To imagine that it was more than a brotherly relationship.

He had fantasized about it, always coming back to the tender images. Both of them huddling up each other. French kisses. Spooning. Tommy’s arm around his waist, his own hand on Tommy’s cock. Tommy closing his eyes, emphasizing his eyelashes and both sharp and soft features. Barney had always wanted to give him a peck on the cheek, on the nose, tracing his jaw and cheekbones with his fingers. What a beautiful daydream…

As he opened his eyes, their faces were way too close to each other. Was this what people were always calling the point of no return? And what was it that made him lean forward until his lips nearly brushed Tommy’s?

Barney let himself feel all of his emotions. Gave up control and pressed his lips against Tommy’s. Slowly, gently, tenderly. He kissed his top lip, bottom lip, graced his tongue between them. The warmth Tommy radiated was overwhelming. A satisfied sigh escaped his lips. Fuck, this was amazing…

It took a few seconds until Barney realized that he kissed him back. He could feel his own heartbeat as Tommy’s tongue slipped into his mouth, ran along the edge of his front teeth, swirled around his own tongue. He lightly wrapped a hand around the other man’s neck, pulling him a little bit closer.

Barney could still feel Tommy’s breaths on his lips after he broke away from him. He had never seen him speechless, but now he was there, in front of him, not knowing what to say. Not knowing if there even was something to be said. But it was alright as long as they were there, little smiles on their lips and warm memories in their hearts.

_Echos and the shots ring out_

_We may be the first to fall_

_Everything can stay the same or we could change it all_

It was clear from the outset that it wouldn’t be easy.

Tommy had thought that it would have something to do with their kiss, but he had been wrong. Neither one of them had ever mentioned it again, playing pretend again. Pretending it was alright, as if nothing had happened. Tommy preferred not to think about it, pushing the thoughts away, but it didn’t always work. He could still feel Barney’s lips on his own, a touch full of hope. It was a miracle that he hadn’t turned to opium again to heal the pain.

But in the end it was the past haunting all of them. It should have been an ordinary family meeting, purely dedicated to some announcements, but Michael had foiled him. Company restructure, don’t make me laugh! He knew nothing, but Gina had done a good job seducing him. What a wonderful addition to the family…

And as if this wasn’t enough, Isaiah came in.

“Tommy, he’s bitten through the fucking rope. They’ve got him cornered, but they need help.“

He knew immediately who they were talking about. He had planned to introduce Barney to the others afterwards, but now he had to help him. Had to find out what was actually happening without panicking. Talking to Michael felt like getting rid of him. He was caught between a rock and a hard place and had to act quickly and wisely.

As he stepped outside, he immediately knew what exactly was the problem. Some approached Barney, some didn’t even dare coming closer. Too afraid of this man with the gun, spit running down his face. If he hadn’t known him, he would have probably regarded him as a terrible danger, too. But he had known him for such a long time. They had talked. They had encouraged each other, covered each other’s backs. They had … no, it wasn’t the right time to think about that kiss again, it wasn’t.

“They’re not fucking voices!“ - “Whoa! Whoa.“

They obviously didn’t know how to treat him. They might have survived similar battles, but still didn’t seem to know what to do. They looked so terribly helpless, trying to calm him down with platitudes. _Calm down. Put the gun down_. It wasn’t that easy, for fuck’s sake. His hand was trembling, but it wouldn’t keep him from shooting at them and striking them.

“Barney! Put down the gun. At ease.“ He approached him vigorously. Barney immediately recognized his voice and stood bold upright, completely forgetting about the others. Tommy took the gun away from him and gave it to Finn as fast as possible. He put the garbage can lid Barney had used as a shield down on the floor.

“At ease, soldier. At ease.“ It hurt seeing him in such a condition, so fucking afraid. Tommy couldn’t imagine how he must have felt this whole time. He had already seen to many people suffering from shell shock and was fully aware of the consequences. Some people got off lightly, others did not. It was all about being there for each other, having someone you could trust, a confidant.

“Look at me. They’re on our side.“ Barney breathed heavily, seemingly collecting his thoughts. He looked Tommy in the eye. His eyes were so wonderfully expressive, the eyebrows raised. He was there … he was there … he would save him. He didn’t respect him for no reason. Barney could still remember the moments in which it had been Tommy who had held them all together. The glue of the group. He couldn’t wish for a better superior.

“You’re at home.“ Tommy cupped his face. Barney put his hands on his upper arms and dug his fingers into the fabric of Tommy’s coat. It was an unusual kind of anchor, but he was grateful for it. It was something to hold on to, something that kept him away from fighting. _Home_. Yeah, home sounded good. Like a good, lovely place. Like the save haven he had been dreaming of.

“Yeah?“ - “Yeah.“ Tommy smiled. He _smiled_ \- and fuck, did he look beautiful while doing it. Barney grunted and laughed. There they were, standing face to face, united. He could have leaned forward and kiss him again, the same way they had at the Garrison - but there were too many people around them. He would have felt uncomfortable, Tommy too. It would remain their secret, be it a mistake or not. Instead, he took the vial Tommy offered him and drank the content without asking. He wanted the best for him, there was no time to talk about it.

Some seconds later Jeremiah took him away, talking about Jesus. _Jesus loves you_. Sweet news, sweet news. Barney looked up to the sky, only to see nothing special. _The devil will now be an angel,_ Tommy had added, _the devil will now be an angel._

“So, where the fuck is he?“

_We're standing face-to-face_

_With our own human race_

_We commit the sins again and our sons and daughters pay_

_Our tainted history, it's playing on repeat_

_But we could change it if we stand up strong and take the lead_

“C’mere, Barney, c’mere.“ - “Sergeant Major…“

Sergeant Major, he still called him that way sometimes. An old habit. Usually Tommy didn’t complain, but now I didn’t feel right. It was way too formal, a sign of respect he didn’t need now. It didn’t fit the situation, they were only Tommy and Barney.

Probably he would never get used to Barney sitting on his lap, but actually he didn’t even have to. This would be the first and last time. Just one time to help him with the guilt he would eventually feel afterwards. One time to be together. One time to feel the other man’s body, see him smile, make him laugh.

He couldn’t even say how it had happened. They had been talking, again - and again they had ended up kissing. Charlie’s yard probably wasn’t the best place for doing it, but nobody would look for them here. Hiding in the stables meant having a roof over their heads and the warmth radiating from the horses.

 _And you’d sacrifice an old comrade?_ Aberama had never had a problem with asking uncomfortable questions - and Tommy’s mind never had a problem with reminding him of the hard truth at the worst possible moment. At the moment when Barney was kissing his cheek and slipping his hands under Tommy’s shirt. He may be some years younger, but still knew exactly what to do - how to caress his nipples, how to brush his lips over the corner of his mouth, how to suck his neck lightly.

There was nothing else like this. The wet kisses felt like a revelation, too good to be true. The fingers rubbing him through his trousers, this affectionate look, he had never experienced something like that. He caressed his arms, ruffled his hair, peppered his shoulders and neck with kisses.

He knew that it couldn’t end well. He was the one to calm him down, that was his mission. Not to raise false hopes and break him, but to be a kind of mentor. Then again, did he want to be such a person? Wouldn’t he help him to feel alive this way - or was it just him trying things, abusing Barney and betraying his trust? On the other hand, was it betrayal if the kissed and fucked, never having sworn fidelity to each other or even talked about it being more than a one-off?

He wouldn’t even break his heart. It was just that … that he trusted him. Didn’t really know what was coming, simply driven by the adrenaline in his veins. Should he caution him? Give him the chance to revisit his decision, let him know all the facts? Barney had even asked him about his target, but he had avoided the question, giving him a vague answer. It would be an MP, for fuck’s sake, _possibly the future prime minister of Great Britain._ This plan was insane and Barney would be a part of it, putting himself in danger that was greater than he expected.

Tommy pulled him closer as he felt that Barney wanted to get down on his knees. Even if he was already hard, it wasn’t the right moment. For once he didn’t want to be Barney’s superior, but wanted to forget about this command structure. Simply be a good friend, maybe coming as close to a lover as possible.

Barney surely could do it and Tommy would have loved it, he had absolutely no doubt about it, but this was about another kind of tenderness. A tenderness that made Barney squirm with pleasure, made him feel wanted and beloved.

Barney deserved so much more. A real lover. Someone who could always help him, not a politician who spend his whole day dominating or pleasing people. He was too ruthless whereas Barney was too fragile. They were like night and day, eventually couldn’t even exist at the same time. It hurt to see that he couldn’t give Barney what he needed.

Barney would have deserved to be pushed on a bed slowly, clean, crisp bedding under him. Hands that carefully undressed him. Soft lips on his neck, his chest, his thighs. Lovemaking, not a simple fuck. Something he could look forward to every day. Someone who would give him head in the morning, wank him off in the afternoon and make love to him at night.

Or maybe a wife would have been his cure. A lovely, tender woman, some cute kids, maybe a cozy house with chicken and a dog and whatsoever. Barney would have to get used to it, but it would be worth it, wouldn’t it? A quiet life, maybe that was what he needed. Something that had nothing to do with the illegal business and getting locked away.

Maybe it would have been right to jostle Barney away. To explain to him that their relationship had no prospects, that it couldn’t possibly have them. Maybe it would have been right to turn Barney around, not to face him him when he was pushing himself down slowly an driving Tommy over the edge.

But they had both missed this moment without regretting it. Had undressed each other in between kisses, letting their clothes fall to the floor. The coats were too warm, the caps hindered them in stroking each other’s hair. There was nothing good about having this wall between them, not at all.

Though, it was beautiful to look into Barney’s eyes as he did it. To swallow his moans with every touch of their lips. To see as the other man closed his eyes, his eyelashes fluttering. To stroke Barney, letting his fingertips wander over the other’s glans and balls. _Second best after Barney_ , for sure. He would never come close, this touches must have been nothing compared to the sweet tightness of the other’s body.

He bit Barney’s neck, hearing another moan escaping the other man’s lips. Lips he could kiss over and over again, lips he panted against as he came. He didn’t let go of the other man until he felt his come on his fingers, too - and even afterwards he kept taking care of the now softening cock, kissing Barney on his forehead and listening to him breathing. He didn’t make haste to break away from him, hugging the warm, naked body, brushing the exposed skin with his nose and lips. One hand around Barney’s waist, the other one caressing the nape of his neck - this was the way it should be. Should have always been.

 _I love you_. It was only a murmur, but Tommy heard it. Barney surely didn’t think that he had understood the words, as fast and quiet as he had said them, but Tommy did. Every word. _I love you_. Words that were too intimate. Feelings he didn’t know if he could reciprocate.

He couldn’t even say if it was fear or happiness taking possession of him. _Love … love_. Such an unfamiliar word and feeling. He had missed fire, had let Barney fall in love and made life even more difficult for him. But another part of him … was he simply confused or did this closeness feel good?

No words came out of his mouth, instead he brought his lips to Barney’s earlobe, slightly sucking at it. Maybe Barney would understand what it meant. Maybe one day he would forgive him for all the things he had done and still would do.

_When I was younger, I was named_

_A generation unafraid_

_(For the heirs to come, be brave)_

Then the day had come.

They were standing in front of Bingley Hall, far away from the crowd. In half an hour Mosley would deliver a speech, take about Fascism and allure the people he was talking to. Tommy would stand next to him, waiting for the right moment to bring him down. Nobody except Barney would notice his small sign and know what would happen afterwards. It would be a beautiful spectacle, a glorious one.

Tommy looked at his pocket watch. Two minutes left, then he would have to go inside and leave Barney to Arthur. It felt weird, being there together before this important moment, waiting for his brother to come and knowing that everything after the shot would be a matter of sheer luck. Maybe they would bring him back to the asylum. Maybe he would remember this adventure, thinking it was a dream. Maybe he wouldn’t remember it at all. He would forget about this evening, about his panic, about the confession.

Tommy gulped back the tears coming to his eyes. He couldn’t even say if he wanted Barney to remember it or not. His mind was sure that it would be the best for both of them, that it would avoid pain, but his heart had a different opinion on it. It didn’t want Barney to forget, but to remember all the touches. Remember this pleasant, tender feeling. Wanted to make him feel loved.

Tommy hadn’t been able to sleep the night before, his mind kept wandering to Barney. Maybe it wasn’t the end, he had thought. Maybe it would take the people too long to notice the broken glass and Barney. Maybe he would be able to escape and they would find another scapegoat. Live was far away from fair, but Barney deserved this chance. Deserved to be with people he knew, people who would take care of him.

“Just wait for my sign“, he whispered, pressing his lips to Barney’s temple. He felt him wrapping his arms around his waist, pulling him closer, looking for some comfort before it would all go to hell. Yes, maybe it was wrong, but they both needed it. Needed the closeness, this feelings - and each other. Tommy didn’t know how he had been able to live all this years without him. How he had thrown himself into work and suppressed this feelings, not even knowing about their existence. How he had met new people, forgetting about those who knew him best.

He would never forget the way Barney nipped at his neck. Nothing had ever felt this intimate, even if it was nothing more than the man’s mouth touching his neck. He would find a way to make this work, a way to make them both happy, a method that would keep him from betraying

“It’ll be alright, you can do this.“

Of course he would do it. He had always been the best, he was capable of shooting him, without a doubt. He had shot so many people, having been the best sniper, never having missed a target.

Tommy wasn’t afraid anymore. They would do it, kill Mosley and McCavern and get away with it. And maybe, maybe they would all be together and support each other, like in the good old days.

_Meet me on the battlefield_

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked this work <3  
> What do you think about this Tommy/Barney relationship?
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr as @valkrist


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